I need to tell you, that I hesitated.
I hesitated to share this story. I hesitated to make a decision. And then…
We each have something. Something that we are really good at, or passionate about, or if we’re lucky, both. We need to go out and use that something to make this world better and we need to do it now. The world does not have time for our hesitations anymore.
I recently learned of an organization that assists pregnant women in need. They were looking for someone to lead childbirth and breastfeeding classes. That’s me, right? But I hesitated. I dragged out my decision for a really long time. Because although I would be honored to work with the women, the organization holds values that are quite different from mine. And so, I hesitated. Does working within this organization, even if I am true to my morals, compromise those morals? Is this where I should be spending my time? What will people think if I associate with this organization? And so, I hesitated.
And then #altonsterling. And then #philandocastile. And then #dallas.
And then I woke up the next morning and called them.
I am passionate about birth and mothers and empowering women. And I am good at it (Yup, I said it. I’m not filtering or humbling down; we don’t have time to be polite right now). I don’t know how to make this tragedy better. But I know how to do something, and until I can do better I will take my something and I will work.
I will work to show these women, these human beings, that they matter. That they deserve to have births that empower them. That they have, completely of their own accord, the power, ability and intuition to birth and raise and love their babies, despite living in a world that repeatedly tells them that they don’t. And I need to tell them this now. I don’t have time to worry about whether or not my presence in a building lessens my moral convictions. And I certainly don’t have time to worry about what people will think.
I am not telling you my story to get any kind of “kudos” or accolades. I am telling you this to light a fire under you. For so long I have hesitated because I did not know how to directly fight this. Does me teaching a woman how to breastfeed bring back stolen lives? Of course not. It doesn’t make a dent. But it’s something. And if we each do, at least, something… maybe, just maybe we stand a chance. Because by hesitating, we are part of the problem.
And now, YOU. Tell me. What is your something? You have one (maybe several). Are you an artist? Are you a teacher? Do you have a green thumb? Do you write? Are you great with animals? Do you know how to build things? Are you a nurse? Are you great with kids? Do you love to bake? Are you an athlete? What is your thing?
You have something to give. Pinpoint that something, and find a way to do something with it. Now.
We have a choice. We can choose to hesitate, to question ourselves, to stand still. Or we can do something. It may not directly impact this tragedy, but if we think outside the box, we can do something to make it better.
Chaos is born when a butterfly flaps its wings. And we need chaos desperately. Chaotic love, chaotic good, chaotic creativity, chaotic change. And we need it now. We are running out of time.
The butterfly does not hesitate. And neither should we.